The Teleman's Experiences

Home-Garaged

When I was home-garaged, ( keeping my service vehicle at home )
I would be given jobs near the Company Garage
and would pass co-workers having left the company garage
headed to customers near my home.

.................................................................................................................. 

Return to Index

Once when I was a rookie, I had spent 2 or 3 hours repairing multiple
faults on the line within the customer's home.
Sitting on the floor doing the paperwork,
I picked up the phone and there was no dialtone.
I spent another hour checking everything I had done,
only to find that the cable had just been damaged a block away.

............................... 

Return to Index

Up the Stick 

How many times have you climbed the pole, reached for the service wire and . . .
then climbed back down to get it ?

...................................................................................... 

Return to Index

Breaker

I had just bought a new home and decided to change the electrical outlets to grounded outlets. I decided I would do the one for this computer last, just in case I didn't get to the rest (which I haven't).  It was important, that the computer outlet was changed before calling it a day. Starting at 8:00 AM and working all day, it's getting close to midnight, and now I'm doing the computer outlet. It is a rarity that I throw the breakers before doing such work. With my head nodding trying to stay awake, and with my fingers getting zipped - zapped from contact with the power, I just could not take it anymore and said to myself, "You idiot, the breaker is only 6 feet away !"

(Do not do this at Home - always throw the breaker)

...................................................................................... 

Return to Index

copywright © 1998-1999 teleman -rwh

Spilt Dial Tone

A co-worker once told me the following happened when he worked in Boston
After having repaired a customer's telephone line,
he informed the customer he was finished,
and that he had spilt some dial tone on the driveway,
but believes he cleaned it up sufficiently.
The Customer was quite impressed and thanked him.
The next day her husband called in a complaint.

............................... 

Return to Index

Butt Set

One of our 'old-timers' while up a pole had hung his butt set
(Test Phone) on a line to make the connections in the terminal.
He then reached for his butt set, only, to not find it.
He looked all around and below, to no avail.
The following week another tech found that it had slid
down the drop (service wire) and into the foliage of a tree.

............................... 

Return to Index

Hornet

Before one of our retiree's became free,
he was up on a split roof and was being buzzed by a hornet.
He only had dog spray on him at the time.
The hornet immediately dropped... however,
the spray left a nice yellow spot on the side of the white house.

............................... 

Return to Index

Political Correctness

In this time of political correctness, we can no longer
at work, call diagonal pliers 'dikes' (wire cutters).
The boss reminded a coworker about it's usage,
when another, joked that she might be offended.
I, tongue in cheek, asked why she would be offended;
her response was, " I have friends that are . . ."
"Side cutters?", offered another.

............................... 

Return to Index

Other Stories from the Telezone.

Circuit closed
   
It is common practice in England to ring a telephone by sending extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and ground (earth in England). (Sounds like a 'party line' to this Teleman) When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signaled without disturbing each other.

Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

a. The telephone system ground rod had rusted apart about two feet down, the weather had been hot, drying out the ground around the rod; minimizing the ground contact.
b. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.
c. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current.
d. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground.
e. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring.
Which just goes to show that some problems can be temporarily fixed by . . .

Just Who is the Jerk !

Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me!

I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're a jerk!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "Jerk," and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He'd answer, and then I'd yell, 'You're a jerk!" It would always cheer me up.

Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the jerk. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is Herman with the telephone company and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID program?" He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're a jerk!" And the reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there's ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial (xxx - xxx - xxxx)

I pulled this off of another site. The author had actually put the other party's phone number which I removed. I'll not be a part of his jerky quirks.  By the way, do not do this from your home; harassing phone calls are illegal, regulated by local and Federal Law.

............................................................ 

Return to Index

Say, what !    When ?

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977

"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us."
Western Union internal memo, 1876.

"The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
Bill Gates, 1981

see more superfluous quotes at The JOKE Page

.......................................... 

Return to Index

copywright © 1998-1999 teleman, rwh or fool4JESUS

Enjoyed the Poems?

Or other content

at

PoetPatriot.com


Consider

a  T I P

Tip  the

PoetPatriot

One Dollar

at

PayPal.com

using the

email

Hancock

@
 PoetPatriot.com



No,

 not the same
as cow tipping.

This is

Poet-Tipping.