Last updated November 21, 2011

Ten Most Wanted
by Department of Homeland Security

Top Terrorists of the Third Kind.

Bomb  -  Chemical  -  Agility  -  Vegan  -  Big Bite
Flight  -  Escape  -  Love  -  Teddy  -  No Bull

The Bombardier Beetle

Possession of chemicals with intent to explode

1/2 inch long, wings dark blue-brown with reddish-orange head and prothorax.  Is known to frequent streams, lakes and marchy areas of southern California.  Bomb squads simply use a tin can to contain explosions. The bombardier beetle is also wanted for not complying to the evolutionary theories of the science community. The bombardier beetle is always armed and were it not so small would be very dangerous.
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The bombardier beetle has two chambers that create two chemicals that when combined produce a caustic chemical and will build enough pressure to be ejected onto the subject of a percieved threat. The two chambers produce hydrogen peroxide and hydroquinone. When the beetle perceives a threat the two chemicals are pushed into a third chamber where a chemical reation occurs with other catalase agents making water and oxygen that oxides the hydroquinone into benzoquinone. The chemical reaction builds pressure and when sufficient the beetle will release it in a stream, spraying its enemy in the face. Upon release the chemical volatiliazes creating a 'puff of smoke.'
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Blister Beetle

Possession of Chemical Weapons

Cantharidin causes severe blistering and irritation of the skin.  Mucus membranes are particularly sensitive to the subtance. The blister beetle is a member of the Meloidae Insect Family.
The Meloidae Family is the largest terror organization with over 7,500 known species worldwide. The Blister Beetle has always been found to be in possession of the caustic chemical. Avoid contact with skin and do not investigate by way of tasting the substance.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Andalgalomis

Evading capture; thought to be extinct.

A predatory bird adept at instilling terror upon its victim. A bird with agile fighting skills described as, fighting like Ali, "Float like a butterfly and sting like a bee." Believed to be pre-historic and extinct, the Andalgalomis poses a threat should one make an appearance.  If sighted contact the ABI (Animal Bureau of Investigation). Extremely Dangerous!  This terrorist has proven to be as evasive as Osama bin Lauden.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Gorillas

Family Units are belived to be Sleeper Cells

Although living in Africa as a shy peaceful vegetarian, it is believed an underground movement is organizing. The objective is thought to be a world wide event to help other gorilla members escape from zoos around the globe.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Sharks

Inflicting Terror along Ocean Beaches
Inflicting Terror in Theaters.

Dismemberment is a common mode of operation for the Shark. When attacked by a cell, death is certain. In theaters an attack is preceeded by the musical theme from "Jaws". The Shark terrorist is not to be confused with mob loan officers, OJ's attorneys or obnoxious reporters. Homeland Security has special units for each of those nuts.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Eagles

Inflicting Terror on on lessor innocent animals.

A majestic bird that usually ravage the remains left from other terrorist cell activities. A Golden Eagle swoops down towards the terror filled bunny as it flees for its life. The organization PETA is torn, whether to protect the eagle or the rabbit, and has asked for help from Homeland Security.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Mink

Conspircy to solicit escape.
Association with a terrorist organization.

Minks held in secret holding facilities around the globe are believed to have been secretly communicating with the Animal Liberation Front in the facilitation of their escape. No minks have been determined to be guilty of any terroist activities other than the conspiracy to escape and suspected association with the Animal Liberation Front. 40,000 minks were liberated in 4 separate raids in Galicia, Spain in October 2006. An ALF raid in British Columbia, Canada freed 6,000 minks in August 2008. In September of 2008 the ALF claimed responsibility for an Oregon Break-in that freed 300 minks. In August 2010 50,000 minks were released during an ALF raid in Greece. It is believed that minks in some facilities have made pacts to sacrifice themselves. Their 'sacrifice' provide  funding to facilitate raids by the ALF on other mink holding facilities. It is believed profits from the sale of their pelts are somehow being syphoned off and transferred through a maze of off-shore accounts and eventually make it to the accounts of the ALF. Cooperation between American Intelligence agencies, facilitated by the Patriot Act have minimized the sucess of ALF raids in the United States.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Dogs & Cats

Escape from House Arrest

Dogs and Cats at large roaming the streets having escaped their house-arrest in loving homes. Motives for the escapes is thought to be; avoiding being neutered and/or being mauled by loving children. Each suspect has acted on their own although some had simply followed the path of the first escapee.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Sasquatch

Co-Conspirators with the Unibomber.

The Sasquatch, subject of myth and lore, is rarely seen by man. The Sasquatch had been portrayed in movies as vicious or as lovable. It is believed the Sasquatch lives in cells watching and waiting for its attack against the human race.  Secret interrogations, while Ted Kasinsky, the Unibomber, was under hynosis, revealed that Ted Kasinsky had been captured by a Sasquatch and then due to the Stockholm Syndrome became their accomplice. Kasinsky had melded the Sasquatch hate for man with his own distaste for man's social encroachment upon the wilderness. His long beard and mustash, besides being too lazy to shave, was his attempt to appear more like his captors. A Sasquatch escaped capture during the 1995 raid on Kasinsky's cabin in Lincoln, Montana.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Pit Bull

Inflicting Terror and Harm.

The most Dangerous and Feared of Household terrorists is the Pitt Bull. The Pit Bull deceives many owners causing complacency, allowing the Pit Bull a stealth presence among families. As pets the Pit Bull will live as stealth terrorists waiting for the right moment to attact a child, neighbor or even their master.  For fun and breaking monotony of the wait, the Pit Bull will sit within their master's car until a passing child comes close, then bark growl and snap creating much fear in the child. The breed being strong and bred for fighting becomes dangerous when provoked or you look at them sideways. The Pit Bull will execute its mission much like a suicide bomber, they will attack viciously without regard for personal safety. During attempts to subdue, the Pit Bull will lock its jaws onto a vitim until knocked unconscious or killed. Agents will only approach with padded armor and poles with a lariat hoop in which to lasso the suspect. The Pitt Bull will be Armed and Dangerous.
© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

Written Based upon a fine thread of truth the Sources are:  http://waynesword.palomar.edu/ww0502.htm - D.J. Aneshansley and T. Eisner (1969) in Science Vol. 165: 61-63. - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blister_beetle - http://news.discovery.com/animals/terror-bird-fight.html - http://www.oregonlive.com/news/index.ssf/2008/09/mink_release.html - http://action.anarchistnews.org/?q=taxonomy/term/4 - http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/296853 - http://www.cbc.ca/canada/british-columbia/story/2008/08/28/bc-minks-released-aldergrove.html - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ted_Kaczynski -


© November 7, 2010 -  Roger W Hancock, www.PoetPatriot.com

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Word Yoke

     While painting the room the painting on the wall reminded me of before my wound when times were well at the old farm well as I would wind the wood crank as the rope wound to raise the bucket while the cranky wind blew by. 

     No I do not know why the disgusting color of blue was chosen as the background for the two paintings.  One of an ox with yoke, chickens laying eggs of nutritious yoke and the farmer with tools to produce fresh produce.  The other one, won in a contest, of a dear deer among rows of trees as a soldier rows trolling for trolls down the river to desert his dessert in the desert. 

Out the window with the sea behind I see a dove on a branch and the cat hawking a hairball when suddenly a hawk swoops down just as the dove dove into a bush. 

     I too did not object to the objects in either of the two paintings.  Now feeling blue how could I intimate my displeasure of a blue wall to my most intimate friend?  I close the door swatting at a bee, wondering if I’m just too close to be objective. Taking my painter’s cap off, thinking, to cap it all off, the present concern is that I cannot now present the present to her, upon seeing the tear in one painting I shed a tear. 

     She has enough on her mind being an invalid minding herself that the insurance is now invalid.  I could lead in a fundraiser for her if I would just get the lead out.

My mind got number, due the number of tears and tears. I had to subject the subject of the painting to repeated repairs.  Now in such disrepair it may as well be of a sow in the field to sow or at a quilting bee learning to sew, or of one to leave a seam sewer to slip by fall’s leaves that seems to fall into the sewer, so what? 

     As the dog scratches its chest, the water pitcher sets on the polished chest below the picture with tears that always made the Polish maid, as she kneads the dough, need an answer to her wonder why would the buck in the wood do what it does as it bucks when does are due? 

     Then to top it off, on top of all this, having not sent the check the refuse was refused by the man munching a sweet roll as I check my watch.  Becoming numb by the cold near the stand of garbage pails I watch, standing by the notty pine pole hoping not to catch a naughty cold remembering our responsibility that the polls open in an hour, as the sanitation truck rolls away over the rolling hill.  I’ll have to truck it to dump it myself at the dump station; today my station in life.

     Is it within sanity or with insanity that I write this peace-less piece?

Hancock Institute for Nonsense
www.PoetPatriot.com          .
Roger W Hancock  © 11-24-2002   .

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You know that multi tool, the Leatherman,
the tool with the knife, serrated knife, file,
awl, phillips driver, straight driver, saw, etc?
Well, their next model will include a digital PCS phone.
Adapted from a co-workers impromptu one-liner.

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O.J. walks into a cafe with a large knife tied to his side,
he orders and eats. Then he asks the cook if the knife
was why he was served without any hassle, the cook says
"No, not even close, that fellow over at the window is a successful
anti-discrimination lawyer".

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So much for profiling based on visible weapons...

or just call it 'tip-toe profiling'.

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A while back, I had a customer who was quite free
with the 'choice four letter word', however,
it all stopped after I gave him the address
of the original fool4JESUS site !

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SEATTLE AREA ESTABLISHMENTS
AS VIEWED BY THE FOOL :

STERLING SILVER BANK
--- WHERE YOUR BILLS DON'T SHINE

THE GOOD , THE BAD, & THE UGLY, GUYS
--- WE'RE THE UGLY GUYS

ROSS PEROT PLAZA --- FOR THE PEOPLE

Smith Tower - tallest building west of the
Mississippi River . . .
NOT ! . . . for quite some time now.

SHORT CIRCUIT CITY
--- FOR ALL YOUR ELECTRONIC SHORTS

LOVER'S BABY PACKAGE
--- PREPARATIONS OF THINGS TO COME

U.S.P.S RANGE
--- TARGET PRACTICE WHILE YOU MAIL

HOME ARMS STORAGE DEPOT
----- FOR STRONGER HOMES

PACIFIC OCEAN SAVINGS
---- TAKING YOUR MONEY TO GREATER DEPTHS

GI JANE & JOE'S
--- JANE FOUGHT JOE FOR FIRST BILLING.

Barnes & Noble
--- Is it noble to live in a barn ? . . .
Oh, to read in a barn . . . got it !

DISNEY'S RESTAURANT...
OH, THAT WAS DENNY'S

GRACE COMMUNITY
-- IS THAT WHERE GRACIE ALLEN LIVED?

KING DOME - (The Seattle Kingdome has been demolished!)
--- I Thought Jehovah Witness'
Had More Humble Buildings.

SPACE NEEDLE - Seattle Site Locator

WASHINGTON FERRY'S
- ANOTHER POLITICALLY CORRECT GOV. PROGRAM.

SEA-FIRST SHALL BE LAST BANK
--- FIRST YOUR MONEY THEN YOUR GOOD CREDIT.

TIC TOK TACO TIME --- ANY TIME IS TIC TOK TIME.

JACK IN THE BOX
Now let me think ? . . . Who has the E-coli burger ?
Don't get me wrong this fool was eating here three days after the story broke.
After all, it's sure to be the safest place to eat, now!

McDonalds Farm --- Sometimes it's a real zoo !
I had once stopped in for a Beanie Baby Happy Meal, and was no JOKE !
There was a run on the Beanie Babies, everyone was wanting them.

City of Seattle --- Liberal Admiration Society

Underground Seattle --- Home of the Mole People

Seattle Metro --- joint endeavor between
City of Seattle and Metropolis
( City where Superman resides ).

Volunteer Park
--- A lot of taxes spent for a volunteer park
This park is in Seattle, WA

Wright's Park
--- at least it's not on the left
I think this park is in Tacoma, WA

Providence Medical Center
--- What providence, to be sent to the Hospital?

PETSMART --- as compared to who?

SouthCenter --- if on the south end, it's not in the center.

Sewer Department
--- housing authority for low-income housing, for rats

Am-Track
--- I think I am, I think I am, I think I am . . .

Incredible Universe (now defunct)
--- has sunk into it's own black hole department.

Y.M.C.A
--- is now the Y.O.M.W.C.A.A.A. :
Young, Old, Men, Women,
Christian, Agnostic, Athiest Association

----------------- fool4JESUS --- . . . . copyright - ©1998 - RWH

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My wife had a dream the other day
and woke up before the ending,
I guess she'll have to tune in . . .
next night, same dream . . .
or wait for the re-runs.

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----------------- fool4JESUS --- . . . . copyright - ©1998 - RWH

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To Seriously understand signs you need the . . . Manual of Traffic Signs
<><><><><><><><><><>

The. . . . . V A L U E. . . . . of. . . . . S I G N S
according to the --- f o o l

BRIDGE OUT ... to lunch

Buses and Car Pools Only - segregating the buses ?

No U Turn . . . how about ME ?

Right Or Straight Only . . . Stay Conservative

Left, Straight or Right . . . fickled

Equestrians Ahead . . . What's an Equestrian?
Oh ! . . . the horse rider on my hood.

Handicapped Ahead - race the wheel chair !

Share the Road . . . since when ?

Do Not Stop On Tracks ... duh !

Tracks Out Of Service - What do I care ?

Socialists Keep Left

Watchable Wildlife, plenty in downtown Seattle.
They come from California.

Diesel where's Ethel

End Road Work Thank You ... ah ! quitting time.

Flagger Ahead - That flag's not red, white, and blue!

Those young punks did it again ! - Fresh Oil

Low Clearance - wanna test it ?

Divided Highway - divide and conquer !

No Hitch Hiking - I used to hate, that sign !

Bear Viewing Area - Oh, Yeah ?
Must be California's nude beaches.

The sky is Falling Rock

Firearms Permitted . . . That's a switch !

No Parking Except Sundays And Holidays - a Holy Holly Zone

No Standing, Any Time - I'd rather sit, anyway.

Stop When Children In Crosswalk - Ya, think ?!

Push Button For Green Light - Why bother, no one else does ?

Survey Work Ahead, but don't do any.

Pilot Car - Follow Me - Is she cute ?

Parallel Parking Only - make it tough !

Merge - That's why you need insurance.

Tow Away Zone - I've got towing on my insurance.

No Stopping - Inmates Working - no need to tell me twice !

Only One Way to heaven, through Jesus!

----------------- fool4JESUS --- . . . . copyright - ©1999 - RWH for above sign jokes

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one liners

Telecommuting: is that like, uh, 'out of body'?

Reforestation: Rogain to repopulate the top.

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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Know a Good ONLINE Support Group,
for My Internet Addiction ?
<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Current Affairs -
The President Clinton's Affairs aren't so current.

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Clinton should never have been advised, that, once in the White House, he should buckle down and tend to the Presidential affairs.

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