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To Seriously
understand signs you need the . . .
Manual of Traffic Signs
<><><><><><><><><><>
The.
. . . .
V A L U E.
. . . .
of.
. . . .
S I G N S
according to the --- f o o l
BRIDGE
OUT ... to lunch
Buses and Car Pools Only - segregating the buses ?
No U Turn
. . . how about ME ?
Right Or Straight Only . . . Stay Conservative
Left, Straight or Right . . . fickled
Equestrians Ahead
. . . What's an Equestrian?
Oh ! . . . the horse rider on my hood.
Handicapped Ahead
- race the wheel chair !
Share the Road
. . . since when ?
Do Not Stop On
Tracks ... duh !
Tracks Out Of
Service - What do I care ?
Socialists Keep
Left
Watchable Wildlife,
plenty in downtown Seattle.
They come from California.
Diesel
where's Ethel
End Road Work Thank
You ... ah ! quitting time.
Flagger Ahead
- That flag's not red, white, and blue!
Those young punks did it
again ! - Fresh Oil
Low Clearance
- wanna test it ?
Divided Highway
- divide and conquer !
No Hitch Hiking
- I used to hate, that sign !
Bear Viewing Area -
Oh, Yeah ?
Must be California's nude beaches.
The sky is Falling
Rock
Firearms Permitted
. . . That's a switch !
No Parking Except
Sundays And Holidays - a Holy
Holly Zone
No Standing, Any
Time - I'd rather sit, anyway.
Stop When
Children In Crosswalk - Ya, think ?!
Push Button For
Green Light - Why bother, no one else does ?
Survey Work Ahead,
but don't do any.
Pilot Car
- Follow Me - Is she cute
?
Parallel Parking
Only - make it tough !
Merge -
That's why you need insurance.
Tow Away Zone
- I've got towing on my insurance.
No Stopping -
Inmates Working - no need to tell me twice !
Only
One Way to heaven,
through Jesus!
-----------------
fool4JESUS
--- .
. . .
copyright -
©1999
-
RWH
for above sign jokes
Up Top
My
Signs from 1998
Ferry Parking Here Only.........
Talk
about your special rights for minorities.
Keep Off
The Grass...........
Yeh ! Just Say No !
Dead
End.................................... Who would build a
road that goes nowhere ?
Condemned....................................... Who would
build a condemned building ?
Do Not
Enter........................ Tell me not to enter, that's
just what I want to do !
25
MPH............ Right, we know it really means 35 MPH
35
MPH........... Now we're getting somewhere, 45 MPH
45
MPH.............................. But officer, my foot got
stuck.
Yield............................ Don't those idiots know to
get out of my way !
Do Not Block Intersection ......... What? I don't see any
LEGO
blocks.
Flagmen
Ahead................................... Give it the GAS
!
Traffic
Revision Ahead............................. What Light
?
Danger
................................... Where's my
Hand-gun
?
No
Transmitting, Blast Area .......... "That's A Big 10-4...
I'm in the Hot Zone now ! "
Radar
Patrolled.... nah, nah, can't catch me . . . oh oh
!
Detour.............. But, I don't want to go . . . THAT Way
!
Four
Way Stop ... Four ways to stop?... let's see, ... foot on
pedal... I could crash . . .
No
Trespassing....
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
An
ingraved invitation.
No
Hunting....
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Good
location for poaching.
No
Fishing....
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
It was only this small.
No Hitchhiking . . .
Now, how
am I going to get to the
Mir Space Station ?
Closed
for Lunch...............I
thought this was a cafe' ?
Be Back
In 15 Min...............When
did the 15 Min Start ?
Back at
Noon...
........................But
it's half past 12 !
Ring
Bell For Service . . .
Which one . . . Army, Navy, Marines, or Air Force
? . . .
It must be the . . . Secret . . . Service
!
Quiet
Zone......
H E Y ! ...
. Y O
U... .
C U T
. T H
E .
N O I
S E
!
. . .
.
W H A
T' S .
T H I
S .
S I G
N .
S A Y
?
Turn
Off Lights............
As
usual, keep me in the dark !
No
Lifeguard On Duty
My
lifeguard 's always on duty . . . trust.-.J.E.S.U.S...!
I'm the
fool4JESUS
. . . what's your sign ?
_{ * }_
-O-O-
***************o00o**(_)**o00o***************
-----------------
fool4JESUS
--- . . . . copyright - ©1998
-
RWH
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