Why an Affair ?
by Roger W Hancock
A man needs the close physical touch of the woman he has given his
life to. When he does not get it, it will effect him deeply and
subconsciously, if he is not consciously aware. The lack of the
physical, opens a door for Satan to tempt.
A woman needs a more platonic caressing touch along with romance.
Such may facilitate her willingness or desire for the more
intimate. Physical intimacy without romance opens the door for
Satan to tempt.
An affair destroys two lives, three or four if you count the
other/s. Often more lives are effected when children are in the
house. It destroys the trust between two lovers. An affair also
destroys the trust of your children towards you and may negatively
impact their future relationships. The same is said for, even, the
inappropriate actions that may lead to an affair, whether it does or
Why would anyone jeopardize the relationship they have built? A
person begins to dwell on the inadequacies of their relationship
rather than the positive and the years invested. They may even
listen to their associates. Coworkers or Neighbors who have been
divorced, and those stories may even sound similar to yours and you
begin to force-fit the pieces. That is a ploy Satan uses to weaken
your resolve. An affair is doomed to failure when began in the
betrayal of another. An affair is usually empty devoid of the years
building a relationship as you have with your spouse. We see
portrayed on Television that when an affair ends the Man will say,
“Sorry, she meant nothing to me.” Obviously with the premise used so
often it came from more than one person’s indiscretion. Saying such
also means nothing when the trust has already been broken. Of
course, an affair would mean nothing. It does not have the years and
love that you have invested in your marriage. To say the affair
meant nothing is truthfully telling the other that the marriage did
not mean as much as it should have. It does not console but speaks
truth about your faithfulness, or “lack of.“
The temptation may initially take one of two paths. The first and
more obvious begins with simple (never innocent) flirtation with
co-workers or other associates. The second is depression that may
also lend itself to an affair by weakening the resolve to resist
One usually thinks love is the issue when nurturing an affair, but
such is a lie. Selfishness is the sin that deceives oneself. A
person begins to consider another option to meet a specific need
that is not being met. The commitment made at the wedding is not
considered. The commitment to God is not considered. The selfish
need over-takes ones rationale. One succumbs to sinning in
selfishness which leads to other sinful indiscretions.
The lack of a need not met may lead to depression. Depression is a
temptation to dwell on that we cannot control. Sound familiar? We
hear that about worry which is the sin of not trusting. Need I say
it again, Selfishness is the sin that draws one into depression.
Selfishness is the root of evil that leads to the love of money.
When dwelling upon our needs not met one is often drawn into
self-pity which draws into depression. The selfish sin weakens our
resolve when an opportunity for an affair comes along. Depression in
self-pity may draw one so deep they are unable to pull themselves
out. Depression is a condition that must be battled as it often
leads to thoughts of, if not, suicide. Prayer and meditation on God
and His word is the weapons we have that will provide victory. Even
after victory from an episode of depression the temptation may
reside but never give in to it.
For the Christian, it is a battle against Satan himself. When you
give in to any wrongful temptation you sin. Remember the temptation
is not the sin. Temptation is that first thought, brought by Satan
to tempt you into sin. You begin to sin on that second thought. When
you give in, you sin. Facilitating any sort of romantic relationship
with another, other than your spouse, has gone beyond the
temptation. The Christian has a greater power to resist; the power
of the almighty God. God’s Grace is sufficient when we grasp that
which God has availed. When we are not prayed-up, we give up
resisting sin. A Victorious life is not devoid of temptation but
victorious over them.
Remember, “…’til death do us part.” Divorce was allowed only
because of the hardening of your heart. Jeopardize your first love
and you sin big time. A person in a second or third marriage,
failed to protect their first God-ordained union. (Grant it, one
might only have been along for the ride, while the other stayed
intent on divorce, however usually both play a part.)
An affair can be prevented by a strong commitment to the other and
an unwavering commitment to God. The couple with no faith must work
together to meet the others needs understanding the other may not be
able to meet all of them. A need never to be met surely is included
in the “for worse.”
The wedding vows said, “…’til death…”. Yes, even when one has been
unfaithful. God is forgiving, so must we be. Though the trust has
been broken and must be rebuilt, the years of love invested, surely
have an interest. Christ died to provide salvation from sin, and
victory in life.
------------------- Roger W Hancock
PoetPatriot will have 29 years with his wife on August 29, 2010.
vows are not just between husband and wife but also with God, the
father; Christ, the son; and the Holy Spirit.