The following has been
adapted from an E-mail I sent to a fellow who had on his personal
web page some of his feelings which I interpreted as possible
bitterness. and I felt the urging to post it here on the web. This
was written when I more regularly used the web-handle "fool4JESUS".
This originally addressed those who were already divorced, I have
expounded to address the "consideration of divorce" as well. I've
also made changes where I found the scriptures to address what I had
previously thought unclear.
DIVORCE
Going through
a divorce ? I've some personal beliefs about divorce, however any
fool can give advice, and this fool can only imagine what divorce
must be like. Seek God in all things as to how you handle it. After
all it is between you and God. He is the ultimate judge; His Son,
Jesus, the counselor; and the Holy Spirit, the jury.
First of all
divorce is not a good thing. Marriage is to be worked through.
There is no perfect marriage as trials exist to perfect the union of
a man and woman within the faith and relationship of Father God.
The victory over trials builds the relationship when God, Jesus, and
Holy Spirit is a part of that union. Remember, you vowed not only to
your spouse but also to God. When you break those vows you not only
break the promise to your spouse but also to God, Jesus, and the
Holy Spirit. There is no problem too great that cannot be handled
when seeking wisdom from God. However both parties must be willing
to work out the relationship. When one is not a willing partner it
leaves the other as an innocent party.
You've heard
this all before, I'm sure, but it is important. Do Not Be Bitter !
... it will only eat at your soul. Be friendly with your children's
mother for their sake. Try to avoid any negative confrontations with
her at all times whether the children are around or not. This may be
hard, but LOVE her as Christ loves the Church. This we must do in
everyday life; to love our brothers, neighbors and enemies as Christ
has loved us.
The following
you may not agree with, or you may not want to hear. On my
interpretations of the passages that address divorce, I see the
situation as; if there is anyway possible that a reconciliation
could happen, one should stay available for that possibility.
Feelings do not come into play here, you feel betrayed and much
more, it may seem that there is no way possible you would want
him/her back. Or it may seem that He/She in no way will come back to
you, but as long as He/She is not married to another, miracles can
and have happened.
The Old Testament (Deut. 24: 1-4) tolerates divorce to avoid a greater
wrong. Divorce is not a sanctioned institution. It was granted for
the reasons of the man being a bully including abusive behavior. It
was granted for sexual indecency which did not include adultery.
For adultery death was the punishment and death ended the marriage.
The obtaining of a legal document avoided the hasty divorces. Upon a
second divorce remarriage of the first spouse was not allowed.
Under the new covenant of the New Testament (Mt. 19: 7-9 & Mk. 10:
4,5) divorce becomes only a part of the permissive will of
God. It was permitted for the hardening of man's heart (Yes! woman's
also!) avoiding the continuation of the suffering caused by the
guilty party or parties. Christ taught marriage. (Mt: 5: 27-33) (Mt.19:
1-12) (Mk. 10:
1-12) Other scriptures on marriage: (1 Cor 7: 1-17). Christ
discouraged divorce. (Mt: 5: 31,32) (Mk 10: 9-12) Other passages on
divorce: (1Cor 7: 15-17)
Paul allowed for remarriage under three conditions; upon the death
of a spouse (Rom 7: 2); an adulterous affair (Mt 19: 9); and the
abandonment of a non believing spouse (1Cor 7:15).
Once he/she
marries another, does one hope for that marriage to break up? If the
innocent party still loves the other and wishes to stay available
for a reconciliation, that would be honorable, however, in Romans
7:2 an adulterous affair would allow a remarriage. The spouse having
left and remarried certainly constitutes an adulterous affair. as
always, seek the will of God for your life in these matters.
With the allowances for divorce it is clear that divorce is only a
remedy for a hardened heart. Search your own heart that you not be
the guilty party then abide in Him and rest in His peace.
Remember you
vowed to him/her and God to stay true to your spouse 'for better or
worse', grant it, it can't get much worse than your spouse having
left you. I understand it is easier for me to write this, than for
you to except, as I have not walked in your shoes. I do not intend
to place any guilt, condemnation, or bondage upon you. Just consider
and seek Our Lord and Savior, JESUS CHRIST!
My prayers be with you
------------------- Roger W Hancock
The
PoetPatriot will have 32 years with his wife on August 29, 2013.
Marriage
vows are not just between husband and wife but also with God, the
father; Christ, the son; and the Holy Spirit.
